


KoopaMingle

by DangerDoggins



Category: Luigi's Mansion (Video Games), Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Porn With Plot, Secret Identity, Size Difference, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 02:30:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerDoggins/pseuds/DangerDoggins
Summary: After Mario and Peach's most recent breakup, Junior puts Bowser to a task. Finding Peach on a little dating app called KoopaMingle. Bowser doesn't exactly find Peach but a certain green guy might be able to lead her to him... lest he fall in love with him!This work paints Mario and Peach in a bad light so if that is not your thing. Go ahead and skip this one!
Relationships: Bowser Koopa/Luigi (Nintendo)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 297





	KoopaMingle

**Author's Note:**

> ☆Bowser's Playlist☆
> 
> ☆Panini- Lil Nas X
> 
> ☆Changed- Bazzi 
> 
> ☆Animal- Miike Snow
> 
> ☆Raise Your Horns- Amon Amarth
> 
> ☆Chest Pain Waltz- Freak Kitchen
> 
> ☆The Shade- Metric
> 
> ☆Tender- Stuck in the Sound
> 
> ☆All These Girls- Atlas Genius

Bowser paced his sitting room, claws poised on his chin as he tried to think out his next move. He had had time to cool off from his last heist, assuming the princess must have too. It was only a matter of time they would lower their guard. It happened time and again where they would allow him access. The fools. 

"Hey dad?" 

"YIPE!" Bowser grabbed up his tail and whipped around to find his son sitting on the couch. However long he had been there was a mystery to Bowser. "Junior what have I told you about sneaking in on me like that!?" 

"I've been here for thirty minutes!" Junior hopped on his spot then chuckled and narrowed his eyes. "I have some BIG news for you!" He raised his smartphone and held it out, Bowser grumbling and raising his glasses to see it. 

Mario and Peach Split Up! 

Bowser stared at the headline then glanced at Junior with a bored expression. "Don't they break up like, every week?"

"Don't you think this is the perfect chance for you?!" Junior hopped on his seat again and kicked his little stumpy legs. Putting on a big smile he raised a claw. "I've been researching and I found a few places you could look for Peach!" He reached over and offered his dad the large tablet he had purchased for his large claws. Custom made to his size. Bowser grumbled and sat, leaning back into the corner of the couch as Junior crawled against him. He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and glanced over. 

"Where is it? A weakness in the castle? Is she leaving herself vulnerable in her new favorite coffee shop?" Junior snickered and his claws tapped quickly at Bowser's tablet. He downloaded something and tapped on it. The screen suddenly lit up and after squinting Bowser caught the title. 

"KoopaMingle…" He frowned and glanced down at his son. "Are you sure this is-" 

"Watch daddy!" Junior pulled up the screen and began typing, Bowser trying to keep up with him. 

"What are you doing?" He slowly took the tablet away and looked at the screen, blushing as he did. 

**"Koopa King on the loose! Lookin' for hot single princesses straight out the oven! If you're lookin' for big and meaty the-"**

"Junior… you're grounded." Bowser sighed and patiently erased what Junior had put together. Holding his claws above the screen he racked his brain for ideas. "This is like… one of those dating sites right?" He rumbled and glanced down at his son, who whined loudly. 

"AWWW, I WANTED TO WRITE ITTT!" Junior puffed up his lip and Bowser chuckled narrowing his eyes. 

"No no… see we have to be sneakyyyy~" Bowser's brain erupted with a fantasy. Peach texting him and falling madly in love with him. Discovering it was the Koopa King after all and wailing for him to marry her. It was the perfect plan. He just had to execute it swiftly, and show Peach how he isn't really a bad guy after all. "Watch this!" He started typing, chicken pecking was the best he could do and Junior hated waiting for it. Leaning back and sighing dramatically. 

**"Hey there! I'm looking for pretty princesses! I'm just a humble king looking to match with you! I'm a totally nice guy really! We can talk about all kinds of fun stuff, and you'll see how great I am! Just watch! You won't be disappointed in me!"**

He paused then tried to think of something else to say frowning and clicking the username part.  **BowWowLadyKiller ** was what Junior had put but he edited it quickly.  **KoopK123** . He showed it to Junior who huffed and puffed. 

"That's not interesting! There's no way you can get a date like that!" 

"Well let's try it and see what happens!" Bowser chuckled and ruffled Junior's hair, turning back to the screen. "It wants a profile picture, what should we do?" 

"HMMM…" Junior scrambled up and snagged a magazine off of the table slowly leafing through and finding a handsome koopa. "Take a picture of this guy! He's irresistible!"

Chuckling, Bowser pointed the camera and snapped a photo. He uploaded it and the screen gave way to a different one. A welcome screen showed with instructions, and he flipped through them boredly. Not really paying attention and started leafing through people. 

"How am I supposed to match with the princess? There's no search bar." 

"Oh it's completely random." Junior mused and pointed at one with his claw. "She's definitely too ugly for you."

Bowser sputtered and glanced down at the device. "What?! I'll be up all night looking for her!" Junior shrugged and stood, stomping his little feet. 

"You'll find her in no time! Speaking of night, I'm going to bed." He stomped off quickly, giggling to himself and Bowser called after him. 

"What do we say before bedtime?" He sounded stern. Watching as Junior muttered. "I can't hear you." 

"I love you daddyyyy." Junior blushed and hid his face, stomping off grumpily as Bowser chuckled. 

"That's what I thought!" Bowser chuckled and went back to his tablet, sighing and shaking his head. It was a grueling and overwhelming task to match with Peach. He puffed a puff of smoke and clenched his fist. He would persevere! 

Swiping through went till late in the night, his claws tapping boredly on the screen. He hadn't even found PRINCESSES let alone Peach. He sighed, sleep threatening to overtake him when a familiar face popped up. It was the dumb green guy… whatever his name was. Was he supposed to be Mario's brother? He couldn't remember. He clicked boredly but suddenly the chat box appeared. He fumbled with the tablet and it dropped across the floor. 

He peered down at the tablet and snorted. The guy probably wasn't even awake, he was a square. Boring. Then another plan devised in his head. Getting close to one of the brothers might get him close to Peach. He scooped up the tablet, which suddenly pinged with a message. He stared at it quizzically and lowered his glasses to read. 

_ Hello. Are you another bot? _

Bowser frowned and typed quickly as he could. 

** _Whats a bot?_ **

_ Well, most of the people I match on here end up being computer programs… you have Swag Koopa as your icon, but I thought your bio was cute.  _

Bowser snorted, narrowing his eyes. "Cute?" Don't be ridiculous. His bio was perfect for catching princesses not stupid plumbers. He swiped back at Luigi's bio, and frowned. 

_ "Just brother #2. I really just want to meet and get to know people. Talk to me if you want." _

What kind of pathetic bio was that? He got back to responding to Luigi, grumbling at the grueling task. 

** _Well I'm not a bot, and if you want to talk to people you ought to change your bio._ **

_ Oh I don't really want to, my brother put me up to this. It's not really a big deal to me if I get a date or not…  _

_ If you are after princesses why did you swipe on me?  _

_ Bowser grumbled, trying to think of a response then blushed. The only way was to lie.  _

** _I'm into princes too._ **

_ Well… I'm not a prince… but I know what it's like to be curious. So what's your name? I'm Luigi!  _

Obviously. Bowser grumbled and looked at Luigi's profile name and dorky photo. "GhostBuster#2" and a shot of him and a strange looking dog. A see through looking husky dog. Kinda cute he had to admit. He then paused and became anxious. What was his name? He racked his brain for what seemed to be minutes, unsure of himself. He raised a claw when he thought of it and exclaimed typing it down quickly. 

**Boomer.**

_ Kablooey! Can I call you Bloo? _

Bowser blushed. Now that actually WAS cute. He paused over the keyboard then huffed. He didn't see a lot of Luigi, and curiosity took over. 

**Of course. So what exactly do you do?**

_ Me? What do you mean? _

**Profession wise.**

_ Oh! I used to be a plumber, but I quit. Now I adventure, and hunt ghosts.  _

**That sounds cool. Do you like it?**

_ Actually, I hate it. The professor I work for was tired and old. I just wanted to help him out. It sort of became a full time job. I got a puppy out of it though! Want to see her? _

Bowser frowned, scratching his head. This Luigi was more cryptic than he thought. He didn't seem heroic in the least. Unlike his brother, he didn't seem proud of his work. He was more humble? How could he be? He did beat Bowser a few times but Bowser could hardly remember it. It was just so insignificant. He sighed and leaned back, melting into the couch. 

**Sure, let me see the puppy.**

_ Okee-dokee! _

Bowser was suddenly bombarded with pictures of the ghostly dog. Mostly of her doing regular dog things, which was boring. However a few of the photos actually had Luigi in them. Bowser inspected them and sighed. He looked gentle and sort of cute. Like the kind of guy who would apologize for bumping into you and offer to carry your things. That kind of stuff. He jolted as he got another message, fumbling with his keyboard. _ _

_ Her name is Contessa! I just call her Tess!  _

Bowser faltered, feeling shy now. This guy seemed down to earth and nice, unlike Mario. He tried to think of a response, furrowing his eyebrows. 

**She's really cute. Is she a good girl? **

_ Oh yeah! She's sweet as can be! Sometimes she does get into a lot of trouble though. Ghost dogs are a handful, you know, can phase through stuff.  _

**Oh yeah that sounds like a lot of trouble. **

Bowser frowned at his own nerves, trying to come up with significant conversation. He was bad at this. He sighed and his claws tapped the screen again. Hesitating before sending the message. 

**I'm sorry, I'm not really good at this. I guess we are both in the same boat. My son put me up to this. I was looking for princesses but you actually seem like a really nice guy. I don't know what to do.**

He waited for a message back, it was excruciating as the minutes ticked by. What was he doing? Come on already and answer! Did he mess up? Did he already miss his chance? It was just LUIGI, not anybody special! He suddenly heard his tablet ping and he gasped, hovering over it. 

_ Start by telling me about yourself, then we can fill in the blanks. You're doing just fine <3  _

The heart was a little much Bowser thought, but it did make him blush. He buckled down and began typing, his claws clicking away at the tablet till early morning. They chatted all night about hobbies and sports. Bowser liked football, but Luigi liked tennis. They both shared a love for gardening and gave each other tips and tricks. Bowser kept most of his life private, but talked all about Junior and how much he loves him. Luigi was a good listener and asked engaging questions the entire time.

Eventually however, Bowser's eyes grew too heavy. He had been splayed out on the couch comfortably. He struggled to stay awake and wanted so badly to continue his conversation. His eyes eventually shut and he dropped his tablet onto his stomach. His snores reverberated around the castle and he drifted into his dreams.

……...

Bowser, not soon after, was awoken by a large tug on his horns. He jolted awake and quickly shook his head, getting a loud complaint from the assailant. 

"DAD!!! Wake up! Did you find her? Huh huh huh?!" Bowser's eyes threatened to close again as he came face to face with Junior. He grumbled and shook his head again, rubbing his face with his palm. "Nuh-uh." 

"AWWW! Didja even try daddy?!" Junior swung on Bowser's horns, shaking him awake and squishing his nose with a tiny foot. Bowser gently picked him up and tucked him under his arm like a football. He got the giggles and Bowser couldn't help but crack a small smile. 

"I tried. I found somebody, though." He admitted and reached up to the top shelf, finding Junior's cereal boxes and setting him down. He took a bowl and began to set up breakfast. All of the tiny utensils made just so that Junior could eat with him. He took a slice of bread and toasted it by blowing fire on it, charring it just how Junior likes. Placing it down on a plate and buttering it up. 

"Ooooohooohooo! What's she likeeee?" Junior patted his knees and leaned in opening his mouth in suspension. "Is she a princess like you wanted?" 

Bowser grumbled, heat rising to his cheeks. He blew smoke from his nose and glanced back shyly. "You could say that…" 

"LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!!" Junior slammed his fists on the table kicking his legs. "TELL MEEEEE!!!" 

Bowser turned and set the toast down, thumping into his own chair. He avoided as much eye contact as he could. "Well, he's not a princess…" 

"He?" Junior stopped and leaned in his mouth opening wider. "Is he a prince?" 

"N-not exactly…" Bowser put his paw on his cheek, nearly retracting into his koopa shell. 

"Well then what is he like?" 

"Well he's nice… gentle. He likes tennis. He gardens just like me, likes to sing. He doesn't let anybody hear though, and he does it while playing piano." He huffed, feeling his heart flutter. "He has a puppy named County or something like that. He likes to read and write. His eyes are pretty…" Bowser frowned, that last dreamy part a little over the top. He shook his head coming back to reality. 

"What's his name?" 

Bowser stared at Junior then blinked, not knowing what to say. He became nervous and tapped his claws together. He could never lie to Junior. "L-Luigi." 

Junior took a second to process, then gasped. Slamming his hands on the table and standing up in his chair. "LUIGI?!" 

"Yesss." Bowser groaned and wiped his hand down his face, closing his eyes. He popped back up and opened his claws desperately. "H-he isn't all that bad! Yeah, and I can use him to get close to the princess! That's all!" 

Junior narrowed his eyes and Bowser knew he was in trouble. "Uh-huh… youuuu likeee himmmm~" He sang and got a smug look on his face. Bowser tugged at his own horns and his legs bumped against the table. 

"No!" Bowser took a moment and collected himself, taking a deep breath and sighing. "I'm just letting things happen. If I see Peach, I see Peach. Luigi isn't as important right?" He frowned and glanced up at Junior, watching him eat his toast with raised eyebrows. He frowned and slumped, setting his elbows down on the table. "That doesn't feel right though." 

"Daddy." Bowser looked back up at Junior, watching him devise a plan. "You can always ASK about Peach. Maybe after he knows how great you are, he can hook you up!" Junior smiled and narrowed his eyes tapping his claws together. "New plan. Think you can do it?" 

Bowser smirked and held his paw out into a fist, fist bumping Junior and doing a secret handshake. "New plan~ Count on me!" 

………

After breakfast, Bowser immediately went back to his tablet. Scooping it up and smirking, new plan. He opened up KoopaMingle and found Luigi, flipping his glasses on and reading what was left of last night's messages. He frowned as he checked it, seeing that Luigi had texted him after he had fallen asleep. 

Hello? 

Well if you fell asleep, I hope you rest well <3 thank you for talking to me… it was really nice and you are really sweet. Catch ya next time! 

Bowser stared at the messages, the new plan not looking very good suddenly. His claws hovered over the screen then he tapped away. 

**I'm sorry, I fell asleep. Couldn't even keep my eyes open. I had so much fun talking to you, I couldn't stop! **

Bowser smiled and waited for a response. He waited… and waited… and waited… He finally tossed his tablet across the couch and got up. Itchy to do something, he went to his room and pulled up Junior's new blueprints. Setting up traps was a big hobby of theirs. Obviously to catch Mario. He stomped off to start up on them, who needed Luigi anyways? 

He worked all day, winding up cages and making trip wires, blowing up smoke balloons, launch pads. He finally settled down, dragging himself back upstairs and huffing. A puff of smoke escaped his mouth and he glanced at his tablet. The itch came back and he went to check it, the screen still locked on Luigi's profile. He frowned again, absolutely nothing. He sighed and padded over to the outlet, plugging it in and abandoning it. 

He couldn't help but feel sad. On his very first try, he found somebody nice. But right after he didn't want to talk anymore? Bowser wracked his brain for what he could have possibly done wrong. He had thought everything was going smoothly, why did this have to happen every time he tried to get attention? He sighed and got started on making dinner, knowing Junior would come down any second. He scrambled eggs and made pancakes, breakfast for dinner was Junior's favorite. He cheered up a little bit, thinking about Junior and by the time he was done, was whistling. 

On cue, he heard little baby footsteps and a clatter as Junior plopped on his chair. "SOOOO how did the new plan go?!" 

"He didn't say anything today!" Bowser pretended to growl and act tough. "Little punk was probably too shy to talk to me! After all, I am the greatest!" He watched Junior light up and he smiled, making a plate for him. 

"Welll what did you do all day? Wait for Luigi?" 

"No. I did up your traps and thought I would surprise you!" He watched as Junior kicked his feet against the table excitedly. 

"YAYY! Thank you daddy!" Bowser ruffled Junior's hair and sat. Eating at his own pace and listening to his son chatter away. He acted tough, bragging to Junior about all sorts of things and telling stories. However the tablet lingered in his mind the entire night. Him and Junior stayed up fairly late. Playing board games until Junior was falling asleep where he sat. Bowser tucked him into bed and kissed his head. Flipping off the light and leaving the door cracked for him with the hallway light on. 

He sighed and made his way to the living room, snagging a book to read and plucking the tablet off of the charger. He checked his notifications and had absolutely nothing. He grumbled and tossed it across the couch. If Luigi didn't respond by tonight he would just find another stupid toad or person to hook him up. 

He read into the night until his eyes felt heavy, getting immersed into his book. Luigi had completely slipped his mind, lost in time. However, a little notification pinged on his tablet, bringing him back to reality. He glanced over at it in surprise then reached over peering down at Luigi's icon and grumbling. 

Fat chance Luigi had at talking to him now. Bowser harrumphed and opened up the chat. 

_ Hello. Sorry I just got this, something came up. _

Bowser narrowed his eyes and tapped away at the screen, holding back his anger. _ _

**No problem. Hey I had something to ask you.** ** **

_ What's that?  _

Bowser thought through his words carefully. Hopefully being inconspicuous. 

**I was wondering if you could tell me about Princess Peach. You must be a little close to her, I wanted to get to know her! **

_ No you don't. I'm not a wingman, Bloo.  _

Bowser frowned, not the reaction he was expecting. 

**Why not?**

_ She's terrible. Not just to me, but everybody she knows. She's stuck up and rude, makes fun of everybody. She might put up this mask of being perfect but she's not. I mean, my bro got popular and rich because she made it out to be some fad. Being kidnapped and rescued by some big strong guy. It happens all the time. She milks it and uses it to brainwash people into thinking she's just some perfect little princess. I hate her.  _

Bowser leaned back, surprised a little sweetheart like Luigi would use the "h" word. Under regular circumstances he would be angry but realization suddenly dawned on him. Peach did that? He absolutely could see it that way. He had just been so dumb thinking that eventually he would make her love him. Instead she was just using him. He suddenly became angry and reached down to vent to Luigi, then frowned again. He was going to use Luigi in the same way. He felt a tinge of guilt and started typing something else. 

**Are you okay?**

A little pause, it seemed like a long time but a response came back quickly. _ _

_ No.  _

**What happened?**

_ My bro went to my mansion to escape for a couple of days. But when I went to go check on him, all of the ghosts were hostile again. I've been tracing my steps over, fixing the whole thing again just to find him. Tonight I had to stop in the middle and I feel awful.  _

**What happened?** ** **

_ Do you know those staircases that fold and can be moved?  _

**Yes…** ** **

_ One attacked me and I got hurt.  _

Bowser hummed. Luigi was a wimp so it was probably something small. He thought it would be cute if he had a splinter or something like that. Not to mention, he was pleased that Mario had gotten himself trapped. 

**Oh how bad?**

_ My collarbone broke and I have a pretty bad gash in my stomach. It's not too bad. _

Bowser sputtered. "Not too bad" ?! Worry overcame him and he stood, pacing. What should he do?! He couldn't just run over to Luigi, he didn't know he was BOWSER. Mario's sworn enemy who had pestered them for eons. An idea sparked in his head and he typed quickly. 

**Have you had anything to eat today? **

_ No…  _

**You just wait, I'm going to get you some food.** ** **

_ Oh you don't have to- I'm not worth all the trouble... _

**Yes you are! Don't say that! What's your favorite pizza?** ** **

He waited for a response, feeling desperate and dancing on two legs nervously. 

_ I like spinach and feta with olives and sausage.  _

**Do you like sweets? Chocolate or vanilla? **

_ I do… chocolate.  _

Not only was Luigi sweet as a button but he also had good taste. Bowser quickly ran down the stairs and to an old timey phone, dialing quickly with his claw. He listened to a sleepy koopa answer it and he shouted menacingly. 

"LISTEN UP!!! I need a spinach, feta, olive, sausage pizza STAT!!! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FORGETTING THE CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!" 

The koopa was silent for a second then responded hazily. "But… that isn't Peach's order… and it's 3am…" 

"NO! It's not going to PEACH!!! It's going to-" He frowned and lowered his voice. "Luigi…" 

"Luigi?" The koopa knew better than to question Bowser. "Right okay… the cottage or the mansion?" 

Bowser raised a claw then let a puff of air out. 

**Are you at your cottage or your mansion?**

_ Cottage. They're kind of in the same neighborhood though, if the mansion is easier.  _

**Oh no, no walking around for you. You better relax! Or else! **

_ Or else what!? :)  _

Bowser sighed, smiling at the emoji and feeling himself relax. Luigi was just so gosh darn cute wasn't he? 

"Sir?" Bowser came back to reality and turned back to the phone, blushing hard. "Uh, the cottage. You had better find it on the first try or else!" 

"Yes sir!" The koopa hung up and Bowser turned back to his tablet. Trying to think of a good response.

**I'll get you! Just you watch! **

_ Oh no! I'm scared of being kidnapped by handsome kings!  _

**Really?** ** **

_ Of course not! Peach has it easy! That Bowser guy is apparently super sweet, but she makes it out to be a bad thing! "Oh he made me pies and tried to get me to pet his kid! It was awful!!!" Yeah right. That sounds so nice to me. I can't even land a date, let alone be kidnapped.  _

Bowser felt a pang in his heart. He didn't know just how mean Peach had been… but then again it had all been so obvious. He didn't know how he could have been so oblivious. He stood awkwardly then marched back up the stairs, trying to think of what he could say back. 

Before he could sit down he got another ping, staring down at his tablet and flopping down. 

_ Wait… how did you know I have a cottage? Nobody knows much about ol' Luigi.  _

Bowser frowned, sweating as he thought of a response. 

**A little koopa told me… **

He paused again and slowly grinned typing as fast as he could. 

**It'll come in handy for when I come kidnap you ;) **

He waited for a response with bated breath. Flirting on the second day felt a little dirty, but he barely cared. He also was really rusty with it, having not caught Peach in awhile. Not that his flirts even worked on that spoiled brat. 

_ It's not kidnapping if I go willingly ;)  _

_ You're a really nice king Bloo, I doubt you would kidnap anybody… you're sweet <3  _

Bowser frowned and felt guilty. If Luigi knew who he was, he probably wouldn't want to talk to him anymore. He DID kidnap Peach regularly, and bothered Mario constantly. He wondered what Luigi thought of Mario too. His paw hovered over the keyboard and he sighed. 

**I know you must be worried sick about Mario… what's he like?**

_ Oh Mario? He's a showoff.  _

Bowser raised his eyebrows in surprise, seeing Luigi was still typing. A showoff? His own brother said that? Just how dysfunctional was Mushroom Kingdom? 

_ We used to be really close and did everything together, but he got a big head and decided to become an idol. You know, live in a penthouse and everything. Live it up I guess.  _

Bowser sputtered and reread it twice over his eyes wide. Mario lived in a PENTHOUSE?! He found himself getting angry, he didn't even have a clue this was happening. He was so involved in Peach he didn't even realize these things. He didn't know where Mario lived, he didn't know a lick about Luigi, he didn't know how his crush for ages acted. He sat back in his chair and sunk into his shell a bit. What did he know at this point? It was all so overwhelming, and all because he was so oblivious. He sat and stewed for awhile, grumbling to himself to try to work it out. He got another ping and glared down at the tablet, expecting more mind boggling garbage. 

_ Oh WOW!!! This pizza is HUGE!!! Wowie where did you order this from? It's insane!  _

Bowser softened and smiled, feeling shy. Well at least he had Luigi to keep him company for a couple of hours.

**They make em big in Koopa Kingdom. Is it yummy?** ** **

_ I can barely even hold it the slices are so big! It's very yummy! Thank you so much! You're so sweet Bloo!  _

**I'm so glad you like it. I just had to help somehow, you had a hard day. Plus you've been nothing but a sweetie pie to me.**

_ Well of course I've been sweet to you, you're the only one on here who has ever been sort of normal.  _

**What do you mean? **

_ Most of the people on here are asking for hookups. Asking me for nude pictures, sending nude pictures, harassing me when I reject them. It's been a nightmare, but every time I delete the app Mario lectures me. _

**Why is it any of his business? You're not some guy for him to boss around. **

_ He thinks I'm going to die alone and be a sad sack forever. I mean, he's not wrong. I am lonely, but it's hard to find the right people in Mushroom Kingdom. Nobody thinks straight, except for the old ladies in my book club. _

Bowser giggled thinking about Luigi in a book club with a bunch of old ladies. He really was just a cutie pie huh? He shook his head and adjusted his glasses, thinking hard about it. Could he keep being friends with Luigi? Having a sworn enemy try to mingle with your brother would probably cause some trouble. Did he even care? Bowser thought about it and sighed, typing up his response sadly. 

**I don't think your brother would like you talking to me… **

_ Oh, why not? _

**I'm from Koopa Kingdom. I'm a koopa, you're from Mushroom Kingdom. You know it just doesn't add up really.**

_ So? I visit Koopa Kingdom all the time. Mario doesn't know everything I do, he's too wrapped up in his own little world.  _

Bowser raised his eyebrow, feeling a little iffy on Luigi coming to his kingdom. The koopas who got injured and attacked randomly could possibly be from Luigi. He wasn't perfect, he's teamed up with Mario before.

**You do? **

_ Yeah! I like the people there more! I used to have to go in disguise, but I found some really good friends who didn't freak out when they found out who I was. There are some fun clubs there and it's a good getaway.  _

Luigi was good at disarming Bowser, but he was still suspicious. He had taken on a serious silence, typing carefully. 

**You don't hurt the koopas there do you? **

_ Oh gosh… I can see where you would think that. I have before, I feel awful for it. Mario doesn't ask me for help anymore and I've completely moved on from that…  _

_ Do you actually want to know a silly secret?  _

Bowser scoffed and rolled his eyes, but was curious about the secret. 

**Sure, what's your secret Luigi?**

_ In Koopa Kingdom there are lots of Bowser fanclubs and that's where I met my friends. I know it sounds silly!  _

Bowser sputtered again and felt heat rise to his cheeks. Smoke billowed in his throat and he coughed, choking up a fireball that bounced across the room. He jumped up and quickly stomped on it, but not before it burned a hole in the carpet. Great, now he had to replace the carpet again. He sat back down and stared at his tablet, flustered. He had to know EVERYTHING. 

**What??? I thought you hated Bowser!!! **

_ No! He's not bad! He might be misled, but he's never really done anything terrible. Aside from kidnapping, and even that isn't bad. He's never hurt anybody that I know of. Plus he's kinda cute you know?  _

Bowser held back another fireball and let smoke blow from his nose. Kinda cute?! Well Bowser had to admit he was more than cute but that was beside the point. He really didn't want to hurt anybody in the first place and Luigi was right. He didn't think he did anything wrong. He tried really hard to keep it that way too. He couldn't believe this was coming from somebody so close to Mario. He puffed another puff of smoke and raised his tablet again. 

**You go to a Bowser fanclub? What do you like him or something?** ** **

_ Well… I have a little crush on him. Keep it between us?  _

Bowser's heart beat quickly and he tilted his head back, letting out a long burst of fire with a howl. A CRUSH?! What did that mean?! He quickly went back to Luigi's profile and flipped through his information. Finding the little male symbol on his account. He was GAY and had a crush on none other than BOWSER?! Bowser then checked his own profile and saw that his preferences hadn't been set. Luigi thought he was gay too, and he walked right into it. He huffed and puffed then felt his heart fluttering still. He had a crush on him. Bowser found himself typing without thought, sinking lower into his shell. 

**Well. I can give you something just as good as Bowser. **

_ What's that?  _

**A big helping of Bloo~ **

He blinked and groaned, running his hand down his face. That was so cheesy, why did he do that? He saw Luigi typing and wanted to retreat into his shell entirely. 

_ Well I'll be willing to bet that's even better than a little bit of Bowser ;)  _

**You have no idea. **

Bowser sighed then checked the time, his eyes widening. 

**Hey Luigi, you should be in bed.** ** **

_ Oh wowie so should you!  _

**Promise me you'll sleep? You really need it. **

_ I'll try <3  _

Bowser sighed and lowered his finger. What was he getting into? 

**Goodnight, cutie pie <3**

_ Goodnight <3 <3 <3  _

_ ……… _

Bowser sighed as he sat down in his brand new recliner, wiggling his butt to get comfortable. He had been talking to Luigi ever since he opened his KoopaMingle account. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into three months. He didn't have any drive for Peach anymore and he had even seen headlines from Mushroom Kingdom suggesting he had died. It was sort of funny to feel distanced from Peach, bittersweet. 

He found his sleep schedule slowly getting worse and worse as Luigi toiled at the mansion. He had learned that Luigi has nightmares and stayed up to keep them away. Bowser tried to stay up with him the best he could, and felt guilty whenever he fell asleep. More horrors fell on Luigi as he worked on the mansion and Bowser found himself concerned at every corner. Worrying himself during the night hoping that Luigi would come back to talk to him safely. That was almost never the case and his heart stopped every time he learned about a new injury. It was torture. 

Bowser found with his new free time he could actually go out and relax. When Junior was at school he could actually walk around the neighborhood and the towns. He actually ENJOYED it and felt at peace. He became sort of a tourist, going to each new town. He brought back gifts to Junior, but almost constantly had to bite back the urge to splurge on Luigi. He knew Luigi was shy about receiving gifts, but was nearly constantly sending packages and spoiling him. Unbeknownst to Junior, he had become a sugar daddy. 

Bowser got the ping of his tablet early that night and he glanced over from the kitchen, making himself a large midnight snack. A big plate of turkey and rolls to make sandwiches. He hurried and trotted over with his food, plopping down and smiling as he saw it was Luigi. 

_ I got Mario back. _

Bowser felt his heart surge, partially with pride and partially with contempt. It had taken a long time but it had been a big job. He growled thinking about Mario being freed, he didn't deserve it. Not to mention that blasted King Boo, hurting Luigi. He would have to have a stern talking to with him one of these days. He turned his attention back to his tablet and felt that pride surge back. Luigi had been working so hard and it finally paid off.

**That's amazing! I bet you're so relieved! I mean, if MY brother was stuck in a mansion for three months I would have been so worried! Did you get hurt? Are you okay?** ** **

_ I didn't get hurt. I'm not okay.  _

Bowser froze and creased his eyebrows. What could have possibly happened? He had gotten Mario back, wasn't that good? He wasn't hurt either.

**What's wrong?**

He watched anxiously as Luigi typed for a long time. He could barely take it. 

_ He didn't even thank me this time. He didn't even care that I had worked so hard. All he said was "Wow can't believe you actually did it bro!" What? I've done it BEFORE!!! Three times! He can't even go in that place without getting kidnapped or being chased out by ghosts. But he keeps doing it! I told him not to go THIS time and he just laughed at me and told me to suck it up. I saved him isn't that enough? How come I get "You actually did it!" Or "Wow can't believe you've done it!" I do this all the time and I'm always saving his behind! He asks me for these big favors and I don't even get thanked for it… and he wonders why I just hate myself so much… that's why…  _

Bowser read through the message several times, getting angrier and angrier each time. He felt himself huffing smoke and fire, trying to calm himself. He set to respond, his claws shaking. 

**Luigi, you worked so hard. You got hurt and terrorized every night. You fought with nothing but a VACUUM AND A FLASHLIGHT!!! Do you know how incredible that is? He isn't even worth your trouble even though he's your brother. I can't believe he would even do that! You are worth so much you know that? **

_ Why are you so nice to me Bloo?  _

**Because you're the greatest! **

Bowser felt his heart pound. That wasn't all of it. He had been thinking about nothing but Luigi for three months. There was no denying his feelings. He quickly typed out the next part, somehow finding the resolve. 

**And I love you.**

He waited for a response, overwhelmed as the minutes seemed like hours. He didn't even try to distract himself, just staring until he saw that Luigi was typing. He sucked in a deep breath. 

_ I love you too…  _

He huffed in relief, closing his eyes and sinking back into his chair. His tablet slid down and fell on the floor. He just took a moment to marvel at it. Somebody loved him. It actually happened. He was suddenly awoken with another ping and he opened his eyes glancing down. He scooped up his tablet and read. 

_ I wish you were here right now.  _

Bowser frowned and felt a pang in his heart. Luigi didn't know who he really was. Would his love count if he knew? He hesitated and bit back tears, more worried about Luigi than himself. 

**Are you crying? **

_ Yes…  _

**You want to see me?** ** **

_ More than anything…  _

**How about a date?** ** **

Bowser sighed and hung his head. He didn't know this would happen, how could he? He wiped the corner of his eyes and rubbed his nose sadly. There was no other way to tell him, in person was the best. He got the ping and looked down miserably. _ _

_ Really?  _

**Yeah.**

_ When?  _

**Are you free tomorrow?** ** **

_ Yeah! <3  _

Bowser sighed and smiled gently at the little heart. Maybe, it would work out. 

  
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**Author's Note:**

> Oh no! What will Luigi think when he sees his brother's nemesis on the other side of the table?! Stay tuned!


End file.
